First, I apologize for the big picture. I was just stuck with the picture and my head would’y let me change it.
So, I found a draft I wrote a while ago and thought it best to share as we go into February. Let me know what you think. btw you can sight my real life thoughts with the emojis and highlighted comments as I was reading through it recently.
Recently, I have wondered what kind of dating experience I want for myself during this period.
Do I want to experience what is out there and get myself ready for Whatever heartbreak and hurts that might come with it, or do I wait till I find “the one”
Yeah, I know the concept of “the one” doesn’t exist, but I like to believe the perfect someone is out there for each person. Do people make mistakes and miss them? Yes definitely!
Is it worth it to lose pieces of myself to several people till I find the supposed one or keep my heart safe from stones and find the person with the most delicate nature?
I thought of a program where the women defended that getting experience in a relationship(s) builds character for a person’s dating life and leads them to who is perfect. Their defence was that the quality of men they dated increased as the numbers compiled in their lives.
But it begs the question, what about the people who got stuck with the wrong partner despite their expertise with dating. I am guessing at this point that the system doesn’t work. Because at the end of the day, it also has to do with the other person.
On this same program, the other women said that it made no sense to get your heart repeatedly shattered in the name of character development. They said it’s hurtful as hell, and you lose a part of yourself each time. We all deserve better.
We all deserve to love and be loved with our whole hearts. And I like that, and I like that people out there have found the love of their lives in one try. It’s like when you go to the mall and find the sweater you wanted in the first shop you entered for the absolute best price. So, now you can head home, and you don’t have to suffer the same leg pains as other mall visitors. If you decide to keep checking other stores, you might find something better in quality or cheaper in price, but not both. So, all in all, you got the best deal from that front store.
Well, the reality is not so. As a self-appointed special advisor to my friends in relationships, it’s not. Sometimes, I wish to relinquish the duty, but I’ll not run away from my responsibilities. Never!!
You people should wait till I have a man sef, which brings me back to making this about me.
I don’t know what to do. It used to be way more manageable when I was younger. I knew that I wanted to date to marry because all boys want is fornicashun. And all I needed to do was find a boy that wanted to wait till marriage because there was no way I was going to hell. And based on my calculations, I would have to date for a year or two before he gets tired of waiting. Sis had a lot of things she wanted to do before she got married at 29. So 26 ish was the year to start dating. Give it take one year. Simple as ABC
(this whole paragraph, Side eye )
Maybe I should write about my childhood delusions Because it was a lot!!
Anyways, if you are well aware of what life does to your childhood plans, you get why I am confused now. None of these systems assures finding the right one, and at the end of the day, it’s all luck. I don’t want my love life to be determined by chance. Like, what if life finds someone luckier than me and gives them my person.
This is not even about waiting till my marriage anymore. It’s about opening myself up to someone or something new. But for how long? and how many people?
I’m not too fond of breakfast. My favourite meal is Amala, and it is served better as dinner. (CRIIINGE!)
I have changed; I am not the same person that wrote all of this, but I find it interesting to see how different I was then. I promise you guys I wrote this thing on a bus ride like 2 years ago and it was a different kind of sunshine that shone on me that time. My experiences, my community and my values are different now. Nevertheless, I am still proud of the lady that wrote this. She picked up her bag and decided she wanted more for herself without knowing what’s out there and she would literally gasp in amazement on the person I am now. I had never been in any intimate relationship that required a part of me or my love here. I was walking around like I knew it all and I could tackle the challenges called commitment and love. LMAO.
“Anyway, here I am, a single Pringle thinking about tomorrow’s rent, sitting in a very comfortable, baggy robe, and spilling grapefruit all over myself, feeling like I’m 30 and done with men, while reminiscing about my more innocent past when the third thing on my list of problems was how and when to get into a relationship. Life was good that time y’all.”
Since I referred to a video repeatedly, I might as well suggest it to you. TATG EP2
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